How to Keep Others from Pushing You Around
Do you have someone in your life who loves pushing and pushing you around until you give in? Someone who has no concept of boundaries and wants to push you at their pace?
Whether it’s a family member, friend, or coworker–doesn’t matter who–you shouldn’t let others get comfortable with bossing you around or trying to run your life.
Learn to stand up for yourself.
Here are some ways to keep others from pushing you around:
Have trust in yourself, in your ability to make decisions and control your own life. Learn to act in a way that confidence exudes from you.
Stop Making Excuses
Stop getting creative with making excuses for your decisions, for your choices, for your no’s.
It’s much easier to do something or to say no when you have a good excuse so when you don’t have one, you want to make one up. But doing this empowers the offender in two ways:
- You give them a chance to find ways (solutions) to eliminate your excuses, thereby freeing you for their agenda.
- They know they are in control when there is no excuse, because they understand that you don’t like to say no.
Learn to live without excuses. You do not have to explain yourself.
Don’t Be Defensive
Defensiveness is a sign of weakness and reflects a lack of accountability. Read this Psychology Today article on Why People Get So Defensive by David Woodsfellow, Ph.D.
Learn to live with no excuses, and people won’t use your mistakes and shortcomings against you. (That was just an additional thought for free).
Furthermore, when you act defensively, you put your mind in a constant state of battle – always looking to defend yourself against the next attack. (Another freebie).
Remember that You Have Nothing to Prove
It’s easy to get caught up in a vain desire to have others love and worship you, and if you are concerned with what others say about you, you’ll cater to their every whim.
When pushy people can see your dire need for approval, they’ll use that against you because they know you don’t want to fail them.
Remind yourself of this often: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE! Yep just like that…yell it out loud.
Confront the Offender
Now I don’t know how you define confrontation, but I’m an advocate of confrontation for the sake of resolution.
This can be intimidating, but speak to the offender in private and let them know how you feel about their attempts to push you around. Explain that you don’t accept their behavior.
Confrontation should be respectful and productive.
Unfortunately, there are times when it’s in your best interest to create some distance. This may not be easy when the offender is someone you really care about. Some people can be relentless in their ways and if the above tips don’t work, then minimize the time you spend around them.
Certain decisions are difficult but necessary to make if you want to improve your life. Having someone pushing you around can drain your energy, especially your positivity.
In an ideal world, you shouldn’t have to work so hard to let another person know that they can’t push you, but therein lies the key, finding sensible balance between mind and life.
The mind has its ideals of what the world should be like, of what we should be, and then there’s your actual life and living it.
Finding sensible balance between mind and life through self awareness and self development.
Judy Dove (Sensibledove)
How do you deal with someone who tries to push you around? Share in the comments below.